On a happier note, I found a new hobby i wanna try! yess 2012 im happy to find new interest :D
lomography is the technical term and its a branch of photography. imma start slowly doing more research about it.
these cameras are supposed to have a special feel to their photos in a way that makes them unique and look vinage and dreamy and creates some cool effects to the photos.  I cant wait to get one and try it out, but it's expensive so I might just try out the diana mini first since it uses cheaper film

its like such a big fucking deal i know

side not: i dont feel that comfortable showing off that much sometimes

i really cherish my old memories, i love to look back at them and smile remember, learn, realize wat was and wats now.

but at the same time if all you can do is make new memories it can be tiring to want to always want to make really good memories 

i find it most interesting that so yea if i had stayed where my childhood then i would've went to Canyon High School dif ppl dif classes dif circumstances hmm...
and maybe i wouldve gotten into a different UC like UCI or UCSD but hmm i wouldnt really want to go to UCI anyways
oh boy to think if i went to a different high schoolt hen i couldve gotten into a different university...

지금 내가 하는 얘기
널 아프게 할지 몰라
(What I'm telling you right now 
could hurt you)
아마 날 죽도록
미워하게 될 꺼야
(This might make you 
hate me to death)
내가 예전 같지 않다던 네 말
모두 틀린 말은 아니야
(You say I'm different from how I used to be,
and that's mostly true)
나도 변해버린
내가 낯 설기만해
(I've changed,
I'm not used to this)
너무 착한 넌데 넌 그대로인데
Oh I don't know I don't know
(You're too nice, and you've stayed the same.
Oh, I don't know. I don't know)
내가 왜 이러는지
그토록 사랑했는데
(Why am I like this?
I used to love you so much)
넌 여기 있는데
Oh I don't know
(You're right here.
Oh, I don't know)
이제 날 찾고 싶어
Baby I'm sorry
(Now, I just want time to find myself.
Baby, I'm sorry)
너와 있어도 난 lonely
사랑하긴 내가 부족한가 봐
(Even when I'm with you, I'm lonely.
I guess I lack too much to be in love)
이런 못난 날 용서해
I'm sorry 이게 너와 나의 story
(Forgive how terrible I am,
I'm sorry this has to be our story)
사랑이란 내겐 과분한가 봐
네 곁에 있어도
(Love is too good for me.
Even when I'm with you,)
Baby I'm so lonely lonely
lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely
lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely
lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely
lonely lonely lonely
네가 잘못한 게 아냐
내가 이상한 거야
(This isn't your fault,
I'm just weird.)
이미 오래 전부터
난 준비 했나 봐 이별을
(Ever since a long time ago,
I guess I prepared to say goodbye.)
정말 잘해주고 싶었는데
하필 사랑 앞에서는 왜
(I really wanted to well,
Why am I like this in front of love, why?)
이렇게 한없이
작아지고 외로운지
(This endless
Feeling of becoming smaller and lonely)
너무 착한 넌데 넌 그대로인데
Oh I don't know I don't know
(You're too nice and you've stayed the same.
Oh, I don't know. I don't know.)
너무 착한 넌데 넌 그대로인데
Oh I don't know I don't know
(You're too nice, and you've stayed the same
Oh, I don't know. I don't know)
내가 왜 이러는지
그토록 사랑했는데
(Why am I like this?
I used to love you so much)
넌 여기 있는데
Oh I don't know
(You're right here.
Oh, I don't know)
이제 날 찾고 싶어
Baby I'm sorry
(Now, I just want time to find myself.
Baby, I'm sorry)
너와 있어도 난 lonely
사랑하긴 내가 부족한가 봐
(Even when I'm with you, I'm lonely.
I guess I lack too much to be in love)
이런 못난 날 용서해
I'm sorry 이게 너와 나의 story
(Forgive how terrible I am,
I'm sorry this has to be our story)
사랑이란 내겐 과분한가 봐
네 곁에 있어도
(Love is too good for me.
Even when I'm with you,)
Baby I'm so lonely lonely
lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely
lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely
lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely
lonely lonely lonely
Cuz I'm just another girl
이 밤이 외로웠나
('Cause I'm just another girl,
I'm lonely tonight)
더는 견딜 수 없어 good bye
Cuz I'm just another girl
(I can't hold it in anymore, goodbye.
'Cause I'm just another girl.)
너무나 외로워
지금 네 곁에 있어도
(I'm so lonely.
Even when I was with you,)

honestly i would love to give this to my grandma banoi i loved her when she was a bit younger and livlier
and evnthough she might not like me or even hate me right now i loved her and i  miss her she was nicer to me before

i know very  much that i would be a much more stonger person waiting to be so much more outgoing and out ther in the world i just wanna run around screaming and yelling and much more demanding and
i'd scold at myself why arent you more secure its okay but you shouldnt be so afraid
you're afraid of getting your feelings hurt you've been hurt so much already just let it be that way a lil more before you find happiness

keeep studying try harder to go for your goals dont give up so easily
dont get so distracted easily
remember what you really want and dont let anyone let you think otherwise
dont get easily influenced that way remember who you hare
be true to yourself and you do know how you ffeel admit it to yourself

Once Again I'd like to say Happy Mothers Day! I know you've done so much for me as a mother
i cant help it if i feel sorry for all that you've done for me and at them same time i'm very grateful
i feel in such a sad mood right now i feel like a horrible child but you're the best mom I could ask for.  I hope that you have a wonderful Mothers Day! :D
love youre most loving daughter
        Christina Dominique

my new love lol hehe XD